Only Funny Poems

I thought you would turn out great
As you painted a glorious future of us both
Going along with your towering imagination
Till time slipped by and yet you remained
The little guy and not the giant you imagined
Should have pressed you down to thumbnail size!

Written/Submitted by Fion Lim.

On your Birthday, let’s play a game,
Your rolling eyes, perceive it as lame.
Remember when, you were a child,
Soiled playground days, exceptionally wild.

Dodgeball and horse,
Required some Force!
Unique jump-rope rhymes,
Oh, those were the times.

During Hide and Seek,
We knew you would peek.
When Simon would say to touch your nose,
He did mislead, and you learned to oppose.

Snakes and Ladders would never end,
Near the finish, always descend.
Spin the Bottle during early teens,
What was the brand of your ripped up jeans?

On your Birthday, let’s play a game,
I promise you, it might be lame.
Cheer up and smile, never grow old,
Act like a kid, youthfully bold.

Written/Submitted by Martin Dejnicki.

I have known you quite a while,
When you talk, you make me smile.
A special friend, I will probably keep,
If you buy me, a cool jeep.

It’s your birthday, I nearly forgot,
Searched online, bought you squat.
Hope you don’t turn all bitter,
Since you’ve never been a quitter.

I nearly quit, writing this verse,
Mind is blank, it’s a curse.
Soon, your party will be here,
If I wake up, I’ll surely appear.

Written/Submitted by Martin Dejnicki.

The things one would do for a shot at love
You who declined and shunned running with us
Claiming you could never have made it
Till a date came along and asked
You readily agreed to go on a running date!

Written/Submitted by Fion Lim.

Beneath this slab
John Brown is stowed.
He watched the ads
And not the road.

Written/Submitted by Ogden Nash.

I liked you
you liked your car
i wanted to date you
you wanted to date your car
i love you
you love your car
you broke my hear
so i destroyed your car

Written/Submitted by Dorith.

A mighty creature is the germ,
Though smaller than a pachyderm.
His customary dwelling place
Is deep within the human race.
His childish pride he often pleases
By giving people strange diseases.
Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?
You probably contain a germ.

Written/Submitted by Ogden Nash.

In a hurry to get out the door
I throw my pajamas on the floor
Making my bed in complete deft
I ran downstairs and my books I left
Realizing this put me in complete dismay
Grabbed my stuff and was on my way
Out the door and in the car
What an interesting day so far
Running down the hall gasping for air
After everything I was finally there
I get in the class and throw down my things
Just as I do the final bell rings

Written/Submitted by Megan Spaulding.

Stop writing me,
Said my poetry.
And in reply,
I ask it why.
Your poems are all real bad,
And you lack of message makes me mad.
Everyone finds them a bore,
And once someone started to snore.
Even a monkey can be taught to rhyme,
So don’t think it a skill divine.
In fact you should not write at all.
No joy can words bring from your empty skull.
I curse at you for writing me.
For being writ by you is a curse to me.
The language English you insult.
With every word of yours that on paper fall’t.
And if today the world ends,
It is cause the world itself they do offend.
That is what my poem said,
As it was still inside my head.

Written/Submitted by Mandy.

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That’s how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That’s how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That’s how you’re loved by me.

Written/Submitted by Ogden Nash.