Only Funny Poems

Beneath this slab
John Brown is stowed.
He watched the ads
And not the road.

Written/Submitted by Ogden Nash.

I liked you
you liked your car
i wanted to date you
you wanted to date your car
i love you
you love your car
you broke my hear
so i destroyed your car

Written/Submitted by Dorith.

A mighty creature is the germ,
Though smaller than a pachyderm.
His customary dwelling place
Is deep within the human race.
His childish pride he often pleases
By giving people strange diseases.
Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?
You probably contain a germ.

Written/Submitted by Ogden Nash.

In a hurry to get out the door
I throw my pajamas on the floor
Making my bed in complete deft
I ran downstairs and my books I left
Realizing this put me in complete dismay
Grabbed my stuff and was on my way
Out the door and in the car
What an interesting day so far
Running down the hall gasping for air
After everything I was finally there
I get in the class and throw down my things
Just as I do the final bell rings

Written/Submitted by Megan Spaulding.

Stop writing me,
Said my poetry.
And in reply,
I ask it why.
Your poems are all real bad,
And you lack of message makes me mad.
Everyone finds them a bore,
And once someone started to snore.
Even a monkey can be taught to rhyme,
So don’t think it a skill divine.
In fact you should not write at all.
No joy can words bring from your empty skull.
I curse at you for writing me.
For being writ by you is a curse to me.
The language English you insult.
With every word of yours that on paper fall’t.
And if today the world ends,
It is cause the world itself they do offend.
That is what my poem said,
As it was still inside my head.

Written/Submitted by Mandy.

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That’s how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That’s how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That’s how you’re loved by me.

Written/Submitted by Ogden Nash.

Roses are red
violets are blue
so with our very first kiss
i gave you the flue

Written/Submitted by Aiden Edwards.

I’ll be the L
If you’ll be the V
And she’ll represent O
If he can be E

And if we stand side by side
We’ll make a difference, you’ll see
Cause I’ll be the L and they’ll be the rest
and together we’ll spell LOVE

Written/Submitted by Tara.

In the movie of our life,
starring you and me.
Hollywood is in for a treat,
wait until they see.

The stage is all ours,
so let’s put on a good show.
We act these roles so well,
but they will never know.

Shakespeare seems out of date,
Romeo and Juliet got old.
Baby they have nothing on us,
so let our story be told.

We write romance scenes,
like forever had no end.
It all comes so natural,
with an amazing girlfriend.

We’ve only gotten started,
the end is far from now.
Nothing can break us up,
not even a broken vow.

People watch the notebook,
is that all Hollywood’s got?
Girl, you and me alone,
make those scenes look hot.

They’ll write a story one day,
and a movie to go with it.
Just get us to act it out,
It would be the greatest hit.

We may never be Hollywood’s hottest,
Brad and Angelina will be in the past.
It will last as long as their careers,
but baby you and I will forever last.

Written/Submitted by Darien.

She is the best girl
More precious than any pearl
She dont need money
She needs a guy thats funny
She never wants a gift
She wants a guy who can give her soul a lift
She is just the perfect one
You get her and your life is done
She is kind, beautiful and hot
She never cares about the car you got
She loves the real you
She loves your soul
After writing all this
I am sorry to say this
She just played me
She is not pearl
She is the bad girl
Damn man i got played!

Written/Submitted by Zubayer.